just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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