I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize