A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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