I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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