I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
