Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
