Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
