we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
