I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
