she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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