Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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