i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
