he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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