White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i came on her dog
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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