Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
