i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
