Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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