porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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