Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
