I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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