You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
