I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
