Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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