he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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