I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Bring me that man meat
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
