You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
