I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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