Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
