that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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