you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
