He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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