OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
