i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
