If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
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In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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