Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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