She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
my liver is dry heaving
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
