I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
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Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
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She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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