4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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