I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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