Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My bed smells like the plague
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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