how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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