Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
