you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
