I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
