yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
