Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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