I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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