Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
