So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
