There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you win again, gameday.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
