Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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