I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize