I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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