I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Are my feet made of real feet?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
