I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Nicole vs. Life
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
only you would photoshop your dick
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
