But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
