I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
