So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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