My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize