Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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