My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Walk of Shame today included voting.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
