remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
